


Too Lost In You (Love Actually)

by CarlyMalfoy



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Love Actually - Freeform, M/M, crisscolfer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 20:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarlyMalfoy/pseuds/CarlyMalfoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crisscolfer fic based on the scene in Love Actually where Andrew Lincoln's character confesses his love for Keira Knightley's character through cards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Lost In You (Love Actually)

**Author's Note:**

> So, Love Actually is my absolute favourite movie and I think the card scene is so romantic so I couldn't resist adding crisscolfer to the mix! Enjoy and happy holidays!

_'You undo me and move me in ways undefined.'_

To anyone looking in through the frosty window it would have looked like the idyllic Christmas scene. The living room was deliciously warm and glowed invitingly from the flickering open flames in the fireplace and the carefully strung fairy lights on the lush green tree in the corner of the room. It’s a Wonderful Life played on the television as a batch of cookie’s baked in the oven, filling the house with the sweet, spicy aroma of cinnamon.

Chris had done everything he could think of to make this year the most festive, perfect, love filled Christmas of all time but it had been a useless plight; the fuzzy feelings associated with Christmas had all skilfully evaded him. No matter how hard he fought not to, he couldn’t stop himself from getting caught up in memories of the previous Christmas.

“Darren!” Chris exclaimed, his attempt at scolding foiled by the laughter he was unable to suppress. “The tinsel is for the tree not for you to wear as a boa!”

Darren spun theatrically in front of him. “You don’t think this looks good?” he asked with mock surprise all over his handsome face.

Then he was quickly whipping the gold tinsel from his own shoulders and wrapping it around Chris’ before continuing, “Ah, you’re right, this colour is much more you.”

Chris usually hated decorating the tree. He always ended up stressed out over bauble placement and tangled fairy lights but this year was different; Darren’s presence along with the glass of heady mulled wine he had drank had made it an enjoyable experience. The laughs came easily and his heart felt swollen with love.

He put the tinsel back around Darren’s shoulders and tugged on the ends to bring the older man closer to him before wrapping his arms around his neck.

“I love you,” Chris told Darren with a grin on his face. It was the first time he had ever told anyone that in a romantic way and he meant it. God, he meant it.

Darren kissed him, a sloppy slide of lips made awkward by the wide smile Darren couldn’t wipe away.

“I love you more.”

As it always does, life had gotten in the way and the novelty of holding hands and stealing kisses in secret had worn off leaving them both exhausted and miserable but no less in love. They had tried to make it work but the arguments and tears had become increasingly frequent until it was clear that things weren’t going to get better.

*

“Earth to Chris,” Will’s teasing voice broke through his thoughts. He held up a shoebox with a pair of red heels inside, “I was just asking if you think my mom will like these.”

“Sorry, I was totally spaced out,” Chris replied, turning his gaze to where Will was sitting on the rug wrapping gifts.

Chris had been dating Will for a few months and things were going well. He was a sweet, funny guy and Chris liked him a lot. He was caring and dependable and most importantly, he was totally at ease with his sexuality which meant there was no need for hiding their relationship.

Chris wasn’t sad like he used to be anymore and he was so grateful for that but he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t truly happy. And at Christmas time when genuine, warm love is everywhere it was almost impossible to hide that fact. At Christmas time it felt like the air was laced with memories of when he had that kind of love in his life.

Chris stood up when he heard the doorbell ring. “I’ll get it,” he told Will with a smile.

He opened the door expecting to find someone collecting money for a charity or a neighbour in need of a cup of sugar but his breath was knocked from his body when he was faced with Darren standing on his front step.

He was dressed in a thick winter coat and gloves and had what looked like a pile of large white cards tucked under his arm and a portable CD player in his hand. Chris could tell from the way he was shifting from foot to foot that he was nervous but it was understandable, this was the first time they had seen each other outside of work since they broke up. The last time Darren had been at Chris’ house he had left newly single and with tears blurring his vision.

Chris opened his mouth to speak and Darren pressed his gloved fingers to his lips to stop him just as Will called from the living room to find out who was at the door. Darren held up the cards and the first one had ‘Tell him it’s carollers’ written with thick black marker in Darren’s messy scrawl.

Chris ignored the guilty feeling that niggled at him for lying to Will and obeyed Darren’s request; he was too intrigued not to.

His heart fluttered nervously in his chest like a little bird trapped in a cage as Darren leaned down to turn on the CD player. Darren smiled hesitantly at him as the sound of young carollers singing White Christmas began to fill the air.

Chris watched expectantly as Darren sucked in a steadying breath before holding up the second card.

‘Before I met you I had no idea about the impact you would have on my life’

Chris looked up expectantly at him until Darren presented the next card. His heart ached as he watched him fumble with the cards because his hands were trembling so much from nerves.

‘But you wriggled your way under my skin.’

Chris’ eyes began to sting a little as he read. Darren produced the next card, not once taking his eyes away from Chris.

‘And I’ve never been able to get you back out.’

Chris’ vision began to swim with unshed tears and he tried unsuccessfully to blink them back as Darren brought the next card forward.

‘I know we’re over and that it’s my fault’

Chris opened his mouth to protest that it wasn’t just Darren’s fault but the older man shook his head to stop him, a sad smile on his lips. He held up the next card.

‘But since Christmas is a time for honesty I’m here to tell you,’

Chris’ heart was hammering in anticipation. What was the next card going to say? Did he really want to know?

‘Without any expectations,’

Chris glanced up to meet Darren’s gaze with his own frantic, impatient one until he showed him the next card.

‘That I still love you and I will forever.’

Chris’ hand flew to his mouth to muffle the surprised sob that escaped him. He watched a tear trickle down Darren’s cheek and fought the urge to reach forward and wipe it away until Darren held up the final card.

‘Merry Christmas, Chris.’

“Merry Christmas,” Chris replied in a choked whisper.

Darren smiled and nodded before lifting his CD player and turning to walk back down Chris’ path. Chris watched him go for a few long moments, his heart caught in his throat and his mind racing. This was everything he had hoped for after he and Darren had broken up and he wanted so badly to go to him and to be with him but so much time had passed. He had healed, did he really want to risk going through the same pain again? But could he really just let Darren go?

Before he could truly think about the consequences, Chris began to run after Darren. Darren stopped walking and turned to fix confused but hopeful hazel eyes on Chris and he let out a small noise of surprise when Chris barrelled right into him, crashing their lips together.

“I love you, too,” Chris confessed breathlessly when they broke apart.

He wrapped his arms around Darren’s shoulders a little too tightly before dashing back to his house.

Although he knew dealing with the after effects of his decision to go after Darren would be difficult and would mean hurting Will, he knew that he had made the right decision. He knew because he finally felt the festive glow that he had so desired stirring in his chest.


End file.
